A death ritual to the perfectly cut apple.
a death ritual for patriarchy.
a death ritual to confucianism.
a death ritual for the daughter that listens.
a jesa for daughter I will never be again.
——
When I was born,
he whispered to me sweetly
about my future.
He said to get married
well,
I needed to peel an apple
perfectly
in one
go.
Jokingly, it was first said.
Tauntingly it was second said.
By the third time, sternly it was told.
It was sometime after the 98th but
before the 99th
time did those words slither
down my indifferent ear
The blade clung to
my hand
it seemed sacrilegious to not nick
the red blushing
skin
carving it of its shell,
bare.
So I begin to peel.
And peel.
And peel.
And peel.
And peel.
Only after the 49th skin
was severed, a perfect skinning
failed
did I realize he
had won.
사과를 예쁘게 깎으면 시집을 잘 간다.
a death ritual to the perfectly cut apple.
a death ritual for patriarchy.
a death ritual to confucianism.
a death ritual for the daughter that listens.
a jesa for daughter I will never be again.
There’s a saying in Korean, if a woman peels an apple perfectly in one go, that woman will get married well (사과를 예쁘게 깎으면 시집을 잘 간다). Mom, I can get married now is performance piece about this old saying that lives as an installation and video piece.
In the video I cut 49 apples trying to cut an apple perfectly in one go and failing. The installation is a Korean traditional ritual sending off the dead. This a death ritual for the perfectly cut apple, a death ritual for patriarchy and confucianism and a death ritual for the daughter that I will never be again.
